Let’s discuss marriages. This is not the type of marriage you’d see in rom coms. In rom coms, love always wins and there are cliche montage scenes. What I mean is marriages, and the beautiful chaos that comes with them www.connectionscs.com/marriage-and-family/. You’re on a long road trip, but your GPS is broken.

I understand what you are thinking. Marriage counseling sounds like something you do as a last resort before you split up your furniture and decide on custody. This is not the case. This is like calling an auto mechanic just before you lose all of your wheels. Imagine that you and your spouse are on a journey of unpredictable events. Your partner and you are on a roller coaster ride through life. Sometimes you can communicate like a walkie-talkie.

You can think of marriage therapists as experienced travelers. It’s because they have traveled this route before, and are familiar with the shortcuts. It’s like a pit-stop to test the engine light, which has been intermittently flashing. The toolkit is almost like an assemblage kit that allows you to disassemble the points of friction, then put them back together so that they make sense.

Jim and Lisa got into a heated argument over which way is the best to fold towels. Hint: it’s not just one. It was not about the towels. What was important to me was feeling appreciated and respected. The therapist made a comfortable space in which seemingly minor things were allowed to come up, and revealed deeper truths.

You can’t just hand out all the advice you want. Listens to you. Truely listens. Couples can tune in to radio frequencies they were unaware of. You’ve probably tried to tune an old radio. It’s like miscommunication when you hear a scratchy tone between two radio stations. It’s a good idea to have therapists adjust the dials.

A therapy does not only solve conflicts. It’s often the first step in bringing awareness. Couples are able to notice all the wonderful things they’ve been burying under their daily routine. Recall when Alex discovered that his wife was a natural at cartoon voice during an especially animated session? Laughter helped to break tension, allowing for shared enjoyment.

Communication is key. The exchange should be meaningful, not the usual “How was today?” When you don’t have the right gripper, it can be hard to get started. The seal will break, and it is refreshing.

Be prepared for the unexpected. Insight can shatter the silence that has stretched uncomfortably. The words can fall like Jenga and the emotions can overflow, but marriage counselors are able to help guide these snippets towards a solid foundation.

Relief doesn’t happen overnight. It’s not an immediate fix, but more like learning to dance. To begin with, you may step on your feet. Soon though, the rhythm will take over. The sway of each step will bring you together. Dancers can find flow with the help of music sheets provided by dance therapists.

Also, humor! Unannounced humor can be a great way to break up tense sessions. The ability to make fun of silly arguments can sometimes help put things in perspective. Imagine realizing both of you hated olives and yet ordered them. You’ll be surprised at how much laughter you share can help bridge a gap.

Marriage therapists are not the experts on all things. They do not map out ideal routes. In fact, couples are helped to rediscover the reason they set out on their journey by charting a course side-by-side. You don’t have to avoid obstacles when the road turns and twists. Instead, embrace them as part a story you share together.